The Five Commandments of Carpool

I have almost lost it a couple of times this past week..over what you may ask??

CARPOOL (drop off and pick up)

Following the right protocol while completing this simple task is something that should come in your information packet when you move out to the suburbs.  A big bright yellow memo should be sandwiched inbetween the Whole Foods flyer, and the latest Starbucks ad. So that I do not have to ask God for forgiveness for the things that I say about you when you break one of these commandments I am going to list them out clearly. (In addition there are only five to keep it simple.)

5.  Thou shalt not cut in line.  I get there and wait with my 3 year old an hour and ten minutes before school actually gets out..in kid years that is like an eternity.  We do this to make a dance class across town.  When you cut in line, it’s cheating.

4.  Thou shalt pull up to the appropriate cone to load and unload.  Seriously people..just trust that the teacher flagging you to your correct loading/unloading spot will make sure your little bug gets to school / to you safely and in an orderly fashion.  (Isn’t that why they get paid the big bucks?)

3.  Thou shalt listen to and obey the crossing guards.  They are HUMANS.  Do not be disrespectful to them, treat them with kindness.  They just want your kid to get to school on time and safely.  One team one goal people.

2.  Thou shalt enter the parking lot by making a right turn just like the hundreds of other cars in line on the correct side of the road.  Don’t make me pull a “Mr. Mom” and yell “Right to drop off moron!” (That clip makes me giggle every time.  My mother and I have been telling each other “you’re doing it wrong” all week in hysterics.)

1.  Thou shalt smile..or at least try.  It’s technically still summer, we are all hot, we are all tired, we are all in a hurry.  Try it once tomorrow, maybe twice the next day.  If nothing else, maybe people will give you a wide berth because they will think you are totally crazy.

Happy back to school y’all..I will think of you while idling with the AC full blast!

 

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