I have had this little space for a while now and have yet to decide really what to do with it. Therefore it hasn’t been made public, but I’m not sure I want to stay quiet.
For a while I thought it would be a great private way to vent…but the internet DUH! The risk of hurting feelings was way too great and words have a way of wounding like no other.
Then I thought I would chronicle all the little crafty bits that I do… But that just didn’t feel right either.
Today, the day after Thanksgiving, I have been sitting in a quiet house in my pajamas reflecting.
You see there are massive changes going on in my heart. I am not sure how to balance the feelings pulling me back and forth (I would love to use a beautiful waves of the tide analogy here but it is more..) like a washing machine churning around trying to get things clean. For the majority of my life I lived selfishly, I tried to be kind and good, but honestly I was selfish. It did not matter the good deeds done because I was not truly doing them selflessly to serve and honor anyone but myself.
I cannot live that way any longer.
I am going to write out my journey here. My tale of learning to live in the world but not be of it.. My story of attempting to love with Jesus’ heart.. My story of finding acceptance where before I only had room for scorn and judgement..
It is going to be hard.
It is going to be ugly.
It is going to be cleansing.
It is going to be redeeming.