We have very happily opened our home to my mother in law for the past few months. Just let that marinate for a minute..
Because I am who I am, this sent me into a constant state of feeling the need to entertain. (And pick up, and cook the perfect meals, and play with the girls sufficiently, and never sit down so she doesn’t think I’m idle.) And while hanging out and “playing with Grammy” has been fun, our house has quickly fallen into disrepair. Nothing is in its place. And to be truthful I have had to evaluate spaces that I normally wouldn’t be because they were the only quiet places in our home (places like my girls’ closets, and maybe under their beds and let me tell you..they are a sight!).
We will be purging a LOT of things in the upcoming weeks. Right now the countdown until “operation get Grammy in her new place” kicks off is 11 days. So in 11 days stuff will be flying! I mean watch out…only not literally, because if you show up during this process you may not be able to find us buried under the mountains and mountains of nonsense. Nonsense that will be leaving…or going back to its rightful home..or leaving.
Pretty strong statement, but I feel convicted and ready.
There is an old fable (and this is the SHORT version) about a man who complains that his family is too loud, so he goes to the village wise man and is told to bring all of his animals in the house. He goes back when he can’t take it anymore and is told to get all the animals out. The man ends up with a new found appreciation for his family and their noisiness.
We are that way with stuff. It is time to get back to basics and start with a clean slate. Just in time for the holidays…sigh.
I have almost lost it a couple of times this past week..over what you may ask??
CARPOOL (drop off and pick up)
Following the right protocol while completing this simple task is something that should come in your information packet when you move out to the suburbs. A big bright yellow memo should be sandwiched inbetween the Whole Foods flyer, and the latest Starbucks ad. So that I do not have to ask God for forgiveness for the things that I say about you when you break one of these commandments I am going to list them out clearly. (In addition there are only five to keep it simple.)
5. Thou shalt not cut in line. I get there and wait with my 3 year old an hour and ten minutes before school actually gets out..in kid years that is like an eternity. We do this to make a dance class across town. When you cut in line, it’s cheating.
4. Thou shalt pull up to the appropriate cone to load and unload. Seriously people..just trust that the teacher flagging you to your correct loading/unloading spot will make sure your little bug gets to school / to you safely and in an orderly fashion. (Isn’t that why they get paid the big bucks?)
3. Thou shalt listen to and obey the crossing guards. They are HUMANS. Do not be disrespectful to them, treat them with kindness. They just want your kid to get to school on time and safely. One team one goal people.
2. Thou shalt enter the parking lot by making a right turn just like the hundreds of other cars in line on the correct side of the road. Don’t make me pull a “Mr. Mom” and yell “Right to drop off moron!” (That clip makes me giggle every time. My mother and I have been telling each other “you’re doing it wrong” all week in hysterics.)
1. Thou shalt smile..or at least try. It’s technically still summer, we are all hot, we are all tired, we are all in a hurry. Try it once tomorrow, maybe twice the next day. If nothing else, maybe people will give you a wide berth because they will think you are totally crazy.
Happy back to school y’all..I will think of you while idling with the AC full blast!
I made my first questionable call as a dance mom this weekend. I do not even presume to think it will be the only one. However our 6 year old, Lo, made the competition team for her studio and we had parent orientation on Saturday. (We attend a marvelous very kid friendly studio so I want to be perfectly clear this was in NO way their call.)
We covered a ton of info in this meeting…I mean enough info that it required each of us to have labeled color coded folders and special forms. I honestly thought I was going to need a snack halfway through to keep my stamina up. The other parents were asking these great questions about practices, and class schedules, and the thing I focused on was “earrings”.
“As a part of their costumes the girls may be required to wear earrings.” Now Lo does not have her ears pierced, she had no desire to get her ears pierced, I had no desire to take her to get her ears pierced…that is until I heard their costumes come with earrings. Clip ons could be made so that she would be able to complete the requirement without piercing. I however know how bad those hurt. I also know how tight they would have to pinch to stay on while dancing (even tighter for my kid as she likes to dance with, let’s just say, enthusiasm above and beyond what is required). Ain’t nobody gonna agree to keeping those bad boys on.
I decided then that she was going to have to get her ears pierced. And not just soon..pierced that day so they would have time to heal before choreography and rehearsals started. I also decided that if this was going to happen, daddy was going to be the one that would have to convince her.
To make a long story short, she is now sporting newly pierced ears. I learned she is really fast (as she jumped from the chair after the first one was done and ran out of the store and down the sidewalk). I learned Jamba Juice heals everything. And I taught an entire shopping center worth of people that Claire’s murders children (if the screams coming from the store were what they sounded like).
Lo is really happy, in retrospect, and told me she felt “Just so mature..like she was doing all this big girl stuff now”. All I could think was, “And this is the last bit of growing up you get to do until you’re thirty.”